我还想过正常人的生活

开心树

摘要: 既然我们对自己独特的个体价值早已成瘾，当我们进步到「将你拴在此地的心念撤走」的阶段时，感到坐立不安，是很正常的反应。但课程也向我们保证「这绝不会使你落得无家可归，无所凭依。方向尽失的期间，乃是那具体的过渡经验的先声，它所需的时间远比你把自己的心紧栓在幻相上所耗费的时间要短暂多了。」      初译／学徒小组．感谢溪畔山阳润稿／若水审订   
这阵子，

我对在生活中该如何自处
，
感到

越来越强烈的困惑。这种
困惑期，以前并不是没有发生过，但这次，持续的特别久，让我相当的不安。这种感受是随着这认知而来的：我对世界所怀的任何梦想或任何事物，没有哪件能带给我真正的幸福。现在，我已经不知道自己究竟想「要」什么，也不再清楚如何与人相处，如何在工作中运作，如何做决定，和如何操练《奇迹课程》……。对这种状态，我感到很深的恐惧。我知道这是过程的一部份，也许是我在放下自我形象和自以为是时的必经过程，也许这根本是小我故意让我坐立不安的技俩。能否请你给我一点建议，我该如何穿越目前这种不安的状态，同时还能在这世界上活出一个正常人的生活？谢谢你。   Q #95: I have become more and more confused about life and how to function. Although I have gone through periods like this before, this one has lasted a long time and is quite unsettling. It goes along with knowing that no fantasy or things I hoped for in the world will work to bring happiness. I don't know what I want anymore and have found it hard to know how to be in relationships, my job, making decisions, practicing A Course in Miracles, etc. There is fear involved in this state. I know this is part of the process and perhaps part of letting go of images of myself and what I think is true and an ego ploy to keep me in conflict. Could you please comment on working through this unsettled state and still trying to be normal in the world? Thank you.   
答：通常你所说的情况，是「化解过程」的一部份，你确实是在化解长期以来对自己和世界的错误信念。就这个层面而言，你现在所处的状态是件好事。换个方式来比喻的话，这过程里的种种感受，和长期成瘾的人在戒断时，所感到的痛苦和惊惶失措没两样。既然我们对自己独特的个体价值早已成瘾，当我们进步到「将你拴在此地的心念撤走」的阶段时，感到坐立不安，是很正常的反应。但课程也向我们保证「这绝不会使你落得无家可归，无所凭依。方向尽失的期间，乃是那具体的过渡经验的先声，它所需的时间远比你把自己的心紧栓在幻相上所耗费的时间要短暂多了。」(T.16.VI.8:3,4,5)。 在这过程中，你需要很大的信任，《教师指南》「信任的形成」一文中，描述了『动荡』阶段的状况(M.4.I.A)，这个阶段是会持续一阵子的。
  A. Yes, more often than not, the state you describe is a normal part of the process of undoing our mistaken beliefs about ourselves and the world, and in that sense it is positive. In a way, it is not unlike the pain and disorientation of going through withdrawal from an addiction. We have indeed been addicted to our special identities as individuals, and so we can expect considerable discomfort when we make progress in "dislodging [y]our mind from its fixed position here, as Jesus says. But he assures us that "this will not leave you homeless and without a frame of reference. The period of disorientation, which precedes the actual transition, is far shorter than the time it took to fix your mind so firmly on illusions" (T.16.VI.8:3,4,5). This takes a lot of faith and trust. In the manual for teachers, as you probably know, Jesus talks about the stages in the development of trust, describing the fifth stage in particular as a "period of unsettling" (M.4.I.A), which may go on for a while.   
在这穿越的过程中，转换你在生活中习以为常的思考坐标，会很有帮助；不再如以前那样想你一生需要什么，或世界应该给你什么，你大可把生活周遭的一切当作一个课堂，在其中，学习看清究竟是什么横亘在自己与爱之间，然后一一化解。由此，你内心有一种渴望会升起，鼓动着你去着眼于你与弟兄共同的利益，而不再只关注自己的、具有竞争与分裂性的那种利益。[小我过去所要的，正是你现在想要改变的]，正如练习手册129课所言「我所渴望的世界，超此尘世之上」。你会成为「快乐的学徒」，更加渴望学习宽恕，并更清楚的明了，是自己的哪些作为与念头，使你感到与周遭的人起了隔阂。你已明白，这些信念与做法不过是为了掩饰爱而已，它蒙蔽了你与上主的大爱和每个弟兄之间的合一状态。因此每天都提供你一个新机会，让你认出自己一直是怎么藏起那大爱的；你必须觉察到自己已经选择了怎样的路，你才可能选择另一条不同的路。你现在生活的重心，就是在心内展开的一趟学习之旅。当你体验到自己与他人都在同一旅途上，而不是分道扬镳，各走各的，喜悦便会泉涌而出，这种喜悦绝不会似小我那般，要以折损他人作为代价了。
  What can be helpful when going through this is to shift the frame of reference for your day-to-day living. Instead of the usual way of thinking about what you want in life and what the world has to offer you, you can approach the circumstances of your daily life as a classroom in which you are going to learn more about undoing what separates you from love. You then can become motivated by a desire to see shared interests instead of separate, competing interests, for example. In other words, what you want is what would shift, （what you want is what you are going to shift）as Lesson 129 tells us, "Beyond this world there is a world I want" (W.pI.129). You can become a happy learner (T.14.II) eager to learn more about forgiveness and what you are doing and thinking that keeps you feeling separate from the people in your life, because you know that all of that is just a cover for the love that unites you with Jesus and with everyone in your life. Each day then can be seen as an opportunity to recognize more of the ways in which you keep love hidden: you must become aware of what you are choosing before you can choose against it. The focus of your day, in other words, would be the learning that takes place in your mind, and your joy would come more from your experiencing yourself and everyone else as sharing a common journey, rather than from an ego focus and the ego’s version of joy, which is always getting our needs met at someone else’s expense.   
这种内心的旅程与你的工作或是尽你种种人生责任是不冲突的。你的意识像是一分为二似的：一部份的你仍在尽责地承担生活中的责任；你内同时还有一部份，把这一切互动当成学习的教室，让耶稣或圣灵亲身教你如何化解你不但曾经当真，现在还继续当真的分裂信念。你无需觉得受挫，也不需要觉得无奈，你可以好好善用这个机会，改变你生活的焦点，彻底转变，成为你的新里程碑。你在《奇迹课程》上所下的功夫，如今已引领你走到这个点上，从此无论是你生活的方式，还是你与他人的关系，已经跨入一个全新的层面。
  This can be done while at the same time focusing on your job and whatever other responsibilities you have in your life. It is like a split consciousness: part of you carries out your responsibilities with care and conscientiousness, and part of you views all of these interactions as a classroom, in which Jesus or the Holy Spirit teaches you how to undo the separation that you have made real and continue to make real. Rather than being discouraged and listless, therefore, you can use this time as an opportunity to shift the whole focus of your life in a way that you have not yet done. All of your practice with the Course has led you to this point, where a new level of functioning and relating is opening up.   
大致而言，由于你不再受制于「这事对我有什么好处」的单向思考，焦点一转移，日常生活的运作反而变得容易许多，因为恰是旧的思想路线使生活充满了紧张和冲突。但正如你所说的，这种转变，会引发很大的恐惧，因为你唯一认得而且认同了的那个自我，其重要性会在这过程中渐渐淡化；取而代之的那个「我」，对你而言，还是一个相当陌生且模糊的东西。在这个过程中，信赖变得很重要，而且你该试着对自己宽容一点，若想让自己喘一口气，不妨偶尔允许自己逃避一下。无论如何，有一件事是你可以肯定的，你不是「一个人」在穿越这一切的；至少理智上你知道，天堂之爱正在你心内回响，陪伴着你踏出这一路上的每一个脚步。
  Many times, this shift of focus can actually make functioning on an everyday level easier, because you no longer are thinking along the line of "what’s in it for me?" which inevitably results in a great deal of tension and conflict. There is tremendous fear of making this shift, as you say, because the only self you recognize and identify with is fading in importance, and the self that is replacing it is not yet fully apparent to you. Trust in the process is extremely important at this stage, as is gentleness, and giving yourself permission to set the whole thing aside for a while if that would give you a sense of relief. At the very least, you can be assured that you are not going through this alone. At least intellectually you know that within your mind is the reflection of Heaven’s Love, supporting you each step along the way.   
最后要提醒你，在灵修的困难阶段，不要小看心理治疗或其它专业可能提供的协助。在穿越小我的过程中，能得到慈爱且富同情心的治疗师的帮助，绝对是有利而无弊的，甚至还能加速这个穿越过程。那些专业也能够帮助我们不至于落入逃避的陷阱，而跳过某些应该穿越的部分。
   Finally, it should not be overlooked that sometimes psychotherapy or some other form of professional intervention can be helpful in getting through a difficult period. It is never wrong, as we go along in our process, to avail ourselves of the help of a kind and compassionate therapist, and in many cases it can speed things along. It might also serve the purpose of helping us avoid the mistake of skipping steps in our process.   转自：奇迹课程中文部 Ken Wapnic专栏 2009/1/2