《终极自由之路》28.关于爱的一切

星空

翻译：小粒子儿大天体

I thought tonight I might talk on the subject of love. Love is one word I don't often use, mainly because it's so misunderstood. I also believe that only through growth do we understand what love is. Defining it, we just add some more words to the usual words, and it doesn't really convey the meaning. But love is an absolutely necessary ingredient on the path. If we ever-expect to get full realization, we must increase our love until it is complete.
我想今晚谈谈爱这个话题。“爱”这个字我很少用，主要是因为容易被误解。我相信只有通过成长，我们才能明白爱是什么。定义爱，只是在平常的定义上再加一些字词而已，并不能传达爱的真正含义。但爱是觉醒之路上不可或缺的要素。如果我们想要获得完全开悟，就必须增加我们的爱直至圆满。

Now the love I talk about, of course, has nothing to do with sex. Sex is a body gratification. However, most of us confuse it and tie it in with love. When you see what sex is and what love is, you'll see that they are two different things. They can be tied together and also they don It have to be. The love that we talk about is the love of Jesus Christ. It's the love complete, which expressed in the extreme is: "Love thy enemy." I think the best definition of the word is: "Love is a feelingness of givingness with no expectation of receiving for the giving." Its a very free giving. And it's an attitude that is constant. Love doesn't vary, not the type of love we're talking about. The amount we have we apply to everyone. We love our family as such as we love strangers. This might sound odd, but this is the truth. To the degree we're capable of loving strangers; to that degree we're capable of loving our family.
当然我所谈的爱，与性完全无关。性只是身体的满足而已。但是，我们大多数人却把爱和性混为一谈。当你知道什么是性、什么是爱时，你会明白它们完全是两码事。它们可以被绑在一起，但也不必非得如此。我们所谈的爱是耶稣基督那样的爱。那才是完整的爱，极端的表达就是“爱你的敌人”。我想“爱”的最佳定义是“不求回报的给予感”。爱是自由的给予，且是永恒不变的态度。爱不会变化，不是我们通常所讲的爱。对每个人都给出爱，爱陌生人就像爱自己的家人一样。这听起来可能有点牵强，但却是事实。我们越有能力爱陌生人，也就越有能力爱自己的家人。

The concept of possession is just the opposite of the meaning of love. In love, there is never a holding onto, a fencing in, or anything like that. Love has a sense of freeing the ones we love. When we are giving in our attitude, we want the other one to have what the other one wants. I guess the best example of this type of love is the love of a mother for a child. A mother will sacrifice and give everything to the child, without considering herself.
占有是爱的反面。在爱中，从不会有抓取、束缚。爱是让我们所爱的人自由。当我们以爱的态度给予时，我们想要对方拥有他所想拥有的。我想这种爱的最佳范例就是母亲对孩子的爱。母亲会不顾她自己，以自我牺牲的方式给予孩子所有一切。

There are other definitions for love. I think acceptance is a good word. When we love people, we accept them as they are. If we love this world, we accept the world the way it is. We don't try to change it. We let it be. We grant the world its beingness the same way we should grant every other person his or her beingness. Let them be the way they want to be; never try to change them. Trying to change them is injecting our own ego. We want them to be the way we would like them to be.
爱还有其它定义，比如接纳，我想“接纳”是个好词。当我们爱别人时，我们接纳对方所是的样子。如果我们爱这个世界，我们就会接纳这个世界所呈现的样子。我们不会试图改变它，只是顺其自然。我们允许这世界单纯地存在，就同我们允许其他每个人单纯地存在一样。让他们按他们想要的方式来，永远不要试图改变他们。试图改变他们只是助长我们的小我，也就是让他们变成我们想要的样子。

Identity is another definition. Love is a feeling of oneness with, of identity with, the other one or all other ones. When there is a full love, you feel yourself as the other person, and you treat the other person just like you treat your own self. There is complete identity.
认同是爱的另一定义。爱是与对方或者与其他所有人的合一感、认同感。当你有完整的爱时，你会将他人视为你自己，对待他们就像对待自己一样。只有完全的认同存在。

A constant state of gratitude accompanies a state of complete love. We are thankful for everything. We even thank God for the bad as well as for the good. To understand this requires reaching the state of high love. Only then does thanking God for the bad have any meaning to us. The practical aspect of this is that the more we practice being in a state of gratitude, the more loving we become. Try this and learn the truth of it.
伴随完整的爱而来的是感恩。我们对一切都心怀感恩。好事我们感恩上帝，坏事我们也感恩。为了理解感恩，需要有足够的爱的能力。只有到那时，为坏事而感恩上帝对我们而言才变得有意义。我们练习感恩越多，就越能爱。试着这么去做，去明白感恩的意义。

Love is not only a feeling, love is a tremendous power. This is so little understood in the world. We have an example of this type of love being expressed today by Martin Luther King. No matter how much he's attacked, he will give out nothing but love to his attacker. He teaches non-violence. And the greatest demonstration of this type of love was Mahatma Gandhis winning a war against Britain. He did this without any arms and through his teaching: "The British are our brothers. We love the British. Non-resistance to the British and to the British soldiers, only love for them." Gandhi well understood this and was able to win over enough followers in India to make this effective. The power behind love, without question, is far more powerful than the hydrogen bomb, that is, once you know what love is. Love is the most powerful force in the universe when expressed as love really is, not as we have been taught to think of it.
爱不仅仅是一种感觉，更是一种强大的力量。很少人意识到这点。我们国家就有一个范例，那就是小马丁路德金。不管他遭受怎样的攻击，他回抱攻击者的都只是爱。他教导不要使用暴力。这种爱的最佳示现就是圣雄甘地，他以这种爱战胜了英国人。他没有使用任何武器，只是通过教导：“英国人是我们的兄弟。我们爱英国人。不要反抗英国人，不要反抗英国的军队，只是爱他们。”甘地深知这一点，最终在印度赢得了足够的追随者，平息了那场战争。一旦你知道爱是什么，爱背后的力量，毫无疑问要比氢弹更强大。当爱被正确地表达，而非我们所认为的那样时，爱是这个宇宙最强大的力量。

It is said that God is love, and I add: "One with God makes a majority." One individual, with nothing but love, can stand up against the entire world because this love is that powerful. Love is nothing but the Self that we speak of. Love is God. When we are only love we are God. To quote the Bible, "God is love. God is all powerful." So there's some authority for what I'm saying besides my saying it. Love will give not only all the power in the universe, but also all the joy and all the knowledge.
有个说法是“上帝是爱”，我想加一句“与上帝合一能战胜无数人。”一个个体，如果只拥有爱，能对抗全世界，因为这爱是如此强大。爱是真我，爱是上帝。当我们只是爱时，我们就是上帝。《圣经》中说：“上帝是爱。上帝是全能。”所以我所说的，很多权威也说过。爱不仅给出这个宇宙的所有力量，还给出所有幸福、所有真知。

Now, how do we make this practical? The best way of increasing our capacity to love is through wisdom, understanding. Also, we can do things in our every day life that will increase our love. The first place to practice love is at home, with the family. We should try to love our family more and more and more. I think everyone knows the wonderful experience of love, of loving one person. Can you imagine what it's like if you loved three billion people? It would be three billion times more enjoyable! Home is the first place to keep trying to increase our love for the ones around us, by granting them their beingness. That's the most difficult thing, I believe, to do in a family, especially if the other one is a child. But every child is a whole, complete, infinite individual, and a child of God.
我们如何才能实践它呢？提升我们爱的能力的最佳方式是通过智慧和理解。此外，我们也可以在日常生活中增加我们的爱。实践爱的第一个地方是家里，和家人一起。我们应该试着更多地爱自己的家人。我想每个人都有过爱一个人的美妙体验。你能想象如果你爱30亿人（当时的世界人口）会是怎样的吗？那会是爱一个人的美妙感的30亿倍！家是我们增加爱的第一个地方，允许家人只是存在，我想那是最难的一个事，尤其对方如果是小孩的话。但每个孩子都是完整、圆满、无限的个体，每个孩子都是上帝的孩子。

Next, after loving the ones in our home, we should try to love our neighbors, then our larger group, our state, our country. Then we should try to love all people all over the world.
在爱自己的家人之后，我们应该试着爱自己的邻居，接着是更大的集体，爱我们的州，爱我们的国家。然后是爱全世界的所有人。

Q: The Russians?
问：要爱苏联人（当时苏联尚未解体）？

Lester: Even Russians.
答：是的

Q: The Chinese too?
问：还有中国人？

Lester: I heard Oral Roberts say something on that some Sundays ago. He said, people ask What would the attitude of Jesus be toward the communists if He came back today? And he answered, He wouldnt be the way people expect. He wouldn't have anything against anyone. He would not hate the communists. He would talk against doing wrong doing evil, but He would never say anything against any human being.
奥罗尔罗伯茨在之前的某个星期日说过，人们问他如果耶稣回归，祂对共产党会是怎样的态度。他回答，耶稣不会以人们所期待的方式对待共产党。祂不会反对任何人，所以祂不会恨共产党。祂会反对任何错误、任何邪恶的事，但是祂永远不会反对任何人。

I believe that if we understood the power of love, and that if the majority of Americans loved the Russians, Russia would be won over by the Americans without any arms.
我相信如果我们了解爱的力量，如果大多数美国人都爱苏联人，那么美国就能战胜苏联，而无需使用任何武力。

After we learn to love all the people in this world, there are many more people outside of this world. I think loving all the people in this world would allow us to meet with our brothers and sisters of other worlds, because in this universe there are many, many mansions; many, many places of abode. And because of our inability to love on this planet, we have cut them off.
当我们学会爱这个世界的所有人，还有这个世界之外的其他人。我想爱这个世界的所有人会让我们有机会遇到其它世界的兄弟姐妹们，因为在这个宇宙有很多很多可供居住的地方，只是因为我们没有能力爱自己星球上的人，我们才无法遇见他们。

So, to come back to the point of being practical: The more we develop love, the more we come in touch with the harmony of the universe, and then our life becomes more beautiful, more bountiful and more delightful. It starts a cycle going where you spin upwards. Love begets love! Love falls in love with love!
现在，回到原先那个如何实践爱的话题，我们越发展爱，就越能处在这个宇宙的和谐中，我们的生活也会变得更美好、更丰盛、更幸福。它开启了一个螺旋向上的循环。爱滋生爱，爱爱上爱。

There is another thing. If we want to be loved, the way to get it is to love. It is not only the very best method, but it is, I think, the only method. To receive love we must love because what we give out must come back. Looking for love without loving does not bring love to us, does not satisfy us. This is a basic error in many, many peoples thinking. They go through life wanting to be loved, never feeling that they are even when they are really getting the love. The feeling has to be in us. If I love you, I feel wonderful. If you love me, you feel wonderful. It's the one who loves who feels great. So wanting to be loved is getting into a direction that can never be satisfied. The happy one is the one loving, the one giving. Blessed is the giver because he's so much happier.
还有一个事是：如果我们想要被爱，那就给出爱。这不是得到爱的最佳方式，但我想那是唯一的方式。想要得到爱，我们必须给出爱，因为我们给出的必会回来。只是一味地寻求爱而不给出爱，不会将爱带给我们，不会让我们感到满足。这是人们对爱的普遍误解。很多人终其一生想要得到爱，但即使他们真的得到了爱，也不会感受到被爱。爱的感觉必须来自我们自己。如果我爱你，我会感觉很棒。如果你爱我，你会感觉很棒。爱的人才会感觉幸福。所以一味地想要被爱是永远不会得到满足的。幸福的人是给出爱的人。幸运的人也是给出爱的人，因为他更幸福。

Love should be felt equally for all. When we say we love one person more than another, if we would trace it through by going inwardly, we would find that the one we love more is a person whom we think we need, who has something that we would like to have, and therefore, we say we love that person more. This is propitiation in the guise of love.
对所有人的爱必须平等。当我们说我们爱一个人要超过爱另一个人，如果向内探究，我们会发现我们更爱这个人是因为我们需要他，他拥有我们想要拥有的某个东西，所以我们才说我们更爱这个人。而这只是自欺欺人罢了。

Actually, love cannot be chopped up. If you want to test your own state of love, look at your enemies. This is the real test. Or, if you dont want to go that far, look at strangers. Examine your attitude toward strangers. It should be one of: they are me; they are my family; every mother is my mother; every father is my father; every child is my child. This is the attitude we achieve through understanding. This is the real sense of the word love.
实际上，爱无法被切开。如果你想要测试你爱的能力，看看你的敌人吧。这才是真正的考验。或者，如果你不想走那么远，那就看看陌生人。检查一下你对陌生人的态度，看看以下你是否符合其一：他们是我；他们是我的家人；每个母亲都是我的母亲；每个父亲都是我的父亲；每个孩子都是我的孩子。这是我们通过理解才会获得的态度。这是爱的真正含义。

Q: Lester:, it seems to me you're talking about love as giving, giving of yourself and so forth and yet the conflict that I have occasionally is that it seems that as you give of yourself, people tend to take more and more. And eventually, if you don't put a stop to it, they bleed you dry emotionally, mentally, financially, and they use you as a crutch.
问：你是说爱是给予，是付出什么的？有时我会觉得矛盾：如果你一味付出，人们往往会向你索取更多。如果你无法停止付出，人们最终会在情感、精神、财务上榨干你，利用你作为他们的支柱。

Lester: That's impossible. If we feel the real love, if we have the correct attitude of love, that doesn't happen. What you're saying I often hear. What is needed is for us to know what real love is. The givingness is an attitude. We can always maintain an attitude of love. Most people who give are not giving lovingly. They're giving because of the recognition they think they will get for giving: "Look at me; I'm doing good" or "I may get my name in the paper," or something like that. You see, that kind of love will get us into trouble. People will drain us on that because we're looking for something in return. We're looking to put ourselves up in the process and therefore, they'll pull us down.
答：那是不可能的。如果我们感受到的是真爱，如果我们对爱抱持正确的态度，那样的事不会发生。你所说的我经常听到。我们需要做的其实是知道什么才是真爱。给予是一种态度。我们可以一直保持爱的态度。大多数给予的人不是以爱的态度给予。他们给予是因为他们认为能够通过给予获得什么。“看看我，我在做好事”或者“我的名字可能会上报纸”，诸如此类的想法。你知道，那种爱会让我们陷入麻烦。人们会借此而耗尽我们，因为我们寻求回报。我们想要在过程中把自己举上去，而人们会把我们拉下来。

Q: Don't you think its easier to love somebody five thousand miles away than somebody next door to you?
问：你不认为爱一个5000英里之外的人要比爱隔壁的人更容易吗？

Lester: The easiest thing in the universe to do is to love everyone. This is what I think. This is what I've discovered. Once we learn what love is, it is the easiest thing to do. It takes tremendous effort not to love everyone and you see the effort being expended every day. But when we love, we're at one with them; we're at peace, and everything falls into line beautifully.
答：宇宙中最容易的事就是爱每一个人，这就是我的看法。这就是我所发现的。一旦我们学会什么是爱，爱就是最容易的事。不爱每一个人会耗费我们无数的努力，而且每天都要做这样的努力。但当我们爱时，我们就是与他人合一，处在宁静中，一切都会完美和谐。

The main thing is to know love in the sense that I'm defining it, then those things don't happen. But when we love in the sense that humanity understands the word, then you're right. But I don't call that love.
最主要是知道我所定义的这种爱，那么那些事就不会发生。但当我们的爱是世俗所谓的爱时，对是对，但是我不会称它为爱。

Q: What do you call it? Or do you have a name for it?
问：那你称它为什么？

Lester: Selfishness, actually. We are doing things really to help ourselves.
答：自私。我们那样只是为了自己而做。

And yet in the real love, in the spiritual love, there's no self-abnegation. We don't have to hurt ourselves when we love everyone, and we don't. When we love, there's a feeling of mutuality. That which is mutual is correct. If you love, you'll hold to that law, and therefore people won't take advantage of you. If you are loving, you're applying the most powerful force in the universe. But it's the love of a Jesus Christ I'm talking about, not the every day selfish love.
但在真爱、灵性之爱中，根本没有自我牺牲。当我们爱每一个人时，不必委曲求全，伤害自己。当我们爱时，会有一种关联感，那才是正确的爱。如果你爱每一个人，你就把握了法则，人们就无法占你便宜。如果你在爱中，那么你就是在使用宇宙中最强大的力量。但这是我所说的耶稣式的爱，而非世俗的自私的爱。

Practically speaking, if people are trying to hurt you, and you just feel love for them, if they continue, you will see them hurt themselves. If they continue further, they hurt themselves more. They won't be able to oppose you any more. But we have to practice this love that I'm speaking of, not the love as we have known it.
具体来说：如果人们想要伤害你，你仍要爱他们。如果他们继续，你会看到他们是在自伤。如果他们更进一步，他们伤自己更深。他们不会再有能力反对你。但我们必须要练习我所说的这种爱，而不是我们已经知道的那种爱。

Q: It's a basic attitude. It's nothing you physically or even mentally do?
问：重点是态度，而非具体怎么想怎么做？

Lester: It's a constant attitude that evolves in us when we develop it. However, we should try practicing the love, as said before. First, on our family. Grant everyone in the family their own beingness, if you can. If you can't, keep trying, keep trying until you can. Then apply it to friends, then strangers, then everyone. By doing this, you will develop it, although it isn't something you can just like that.
答：当我们发展那种态度时，它会自行进化。然而，我们应该试着练习爱，正如我之前所说的。首先，爱我们的家人，允许他们自由的存在。如果你做不到，那就继续尝试，直到你能做到为止。接着把那份爱向朋友扩展，再是陌生人，最后是每一个人。这样做能让你发展爱，尽管爱不是能开了又关的东西。

Q: In a way, all of us have it, but it's just layered over by many attitudes?
问：在某种程度上，我们每个人都拥有这种爱，但是它被很多其它态度所覆盖？

Lester: Yes, it's smothered by wrong attitudes. Now this love I talk about is our basic nature. It's a natural thing. That is why it's so easy. The opposite takes effort. We move away from our natural Self and smother it with wrong attitudes.
答：是的，错误的态度覆盖着它，让它几近窒息。我所说的这种爱是我们的天性，是自然的东西。这就是为什么它如此容易的原因。它的反面则需要努力。我们脱离了我们天然的真我，并用错误的态度覆盖它。

Q: Isn't love almost like a selfishness, because when you love somebody, it's such a wonderful feeling for you?
爱难道不是自私的吗，因为当你爱某人时，是你自己感觉很棒？

Lester: Well, this is a matter of semantics. The way you put it yes, but not in the general sense.
答：这是个语义学的问题。你可以这么诠释，但不是普遍意义上的。

Q: I know when I love somebody, I feel so good. It's such a wonderful feeling.
问：我知道当我爱某人时，我感觉很好。真的是非常美妙。

Lester: It's true after you discover what love is. It's the greatest thing in the universe. It's the thing that everyone wants, only because it's his basic nature in the first place. Every human being is basically an extremely loving individual.
答：当你发现爱是什么时会是这样的。它是宇宙中最美好的东西，是每个人都想要的东西，仅仅是因为它是人们的天性。每个人类从根本上来讲都是爱的个体。

Q: To understand this thing of joy, is it the same type of thing as when your mind becomes stilled in one avenue of thought, of acceptance of the other person, and therefore the mind is stilled?
问：为了便于理解它所带来的快乐，它是否能够等同于：当你头脑中的念头静止，只专注在接受对方的念头上，头脑会因此变得安静？

Lester: Yes. The more we love, the less we have to think. If I'm not loving you, I have to be on guard. I have to protect myself. If I'm not loving the world, I'm always protecting myself from the world which causes more and more thoughts. It puts me extremely on the defensive, and subconsciously it builds up year in and year out, and then I'm a mass of thoughts protecting myself from the world. Now if I love the world, the world can't hurt me. My thoughts get quiet; the mind gets peaceful, and the infinite Self is right there. And thats the experience of this tremendous joy.
答：是的。我们越能爱，就越不需要思考。如果我不爱你，我就必须防备你，保护我自己。如果我不爱这世界，我就要总是保护自己，免于受到外界的伤害，这会导致越来越多的念头。这些念头让我总是处在戒备的状态，潜意识里它们不断地累积、叠加，最后我就被这些防御念头完全充满。如果我爱这世界，世界就无法伤害我。我的念头静止下来，头脑因此变得安静，无限的真我就会显现，你就会体验到巨大的欢乐。

Q: In other words, it's not the object that brings this out. It's the quieting of the mind that actually lets the beingness come through a little more, and that really is the love experience, isnt it?
问：换句话说，它不是把我们的无限存在拉出来的目的，而是通过让头脑安静，让存在出来得更多些，而那就是爱的体验，是不是这样？


Lester: Yes.
答：是的。

Q: The light shines through!
问：光透了出来！

Lester: Yes. What you mean is that we take our infinite Beingness, our infinite joy, and we cover it over with thoughts. We take the natural state which is unlimited, and we cover it up with thoughts of limitation. The thoughts smother this infinite Self that we are. It smothers the capacity to enjoy just being. And so all we need to do is to quiet the thoughts, or rid ourselves of all thoughts, and what's left over is the infinite, glorious Being that we are, which is our natural state. Isn't that odd? That is our natural state. That's the way we were, that's the way we're going to be. We are actually that now but we don't see it. This infinite glorious Being that we are, being absolutely perfect, can never change. It's always there. We just don't look at it. We look away from it. We look far away from it. What we should do is turn, our mind inward, and begin looking at It, and the more we look at It the more we see It.
答：是的。你的意思是我们拉出我们的无限存在、无限喜悦，而之前它一直被我们的念头所覆盖。我们拉出我们被限制性念头所覆盖的无限的天性，那些念头覆盖了我们所是的无限真我。它们抑制了我们享受纯然存在的能力。所以我们需要做的只是让念头静止，或者从念头中脱离出来，剩下的便是我们所是的无限而光辉的存在，那也是我们的天性。是否听起来很怪？那是我们的天性，是我们过去的样子，也是我们未来的样子，只是现在我们没有看到而已。我们所是的这无限、完美且光辉的存在永远都不曾改变。它一直在那里，我们只是没去看它，我们把视线从它那里移开。我们要做的就是把我们的头脑转向内在，看着它，我们越多地看它，就越能看到它。

Everything seems to point to the same direction, does it not? That happens as we get more understanding of what life and the universe are. Everything fits together more and more, and gets simpler and simpler, until there's just one absolute Simple called God. God is simple; everything else is complex. The greater the complexity, the further we are from God. God is One and only One; One without a second.
随着我们越来越了解生命和宇宙是什么，一切都似乎指向同一个方向，不是吗？一切都越来越紧密地结合在一起，并且变得越来越简单，直到变成只有一个绝对的简单，那就是上帝。上帝是简单的，其它一切都是复杂的。越复杂意味着我们离上帝越远。上帝是一，只是一，无与伦比的一。

Q: If someone else has a desire and there's a feeling that if I went along with him that I might lose something, then that isn't love. But if my love is complete in the sense of whatever they wish I wish, then I wouldn't be afraid?
问：如果有人有欲望，而我又感觉如果要和他和睦相处，我就可能会失去什么，那么那就不是爱。但如果无论他们想要我怎样，我的爱都是完整的话，那么我就不会害怕？

Lester: Yes. There's a word for it today, togetherness. It's a very good word. Doesn't that fit what you're saying, togetherness?
答：是的。现在有个对应的词，叫做“连结（togetherness）”。那是个很好的词，很适合你所说的那些，不是吗？

Q: The thought occurred to me that when I know my beingness, I can't get hurt, so how can anybody else hurt me?
问：我突然有个念头：当我知道我的存在时，我就不会受伤，所以还有谁能伤得了我呢？

Lester: That's true. It's impossible to be hurt when we love fully. We only feel wonderful when we love, in fact, we feel the greatest!
答：对。当我们完全地爱时，不可能会受到伤害。相反我们只会感觉很棒，超级棒！

Q: If you feel a sense of togetherness with one more than another then you begin to separate?
问：如果你与某个人有连结感，而对另一个人却没有，那么你就会开始分裂？

Lester: Yes, it is not full love. Its partial love, and the more partial it is, the less good it feels. When we love fully, we love every being. We have nothing but a tremendously wonderful, warm attitude of: everything is fine; every person is just right. We see only perfection, and that's the way we see the world. When we hate, we see the same world in just the opposite way.
答：是的，那不是完整的爱，而是偏袒的爱。爱越偏袒，感觉就越不好。当我们完全地爱时，我们爱一切存在。我们只会有无比美妙、无比温暖的感觉，一切都很好，每个人都很好。我们只会看到完美，那就是我们看待这世界的方式。当我们恨时，我们却是以相反的方式看待这同一世界。

Q: When you speak of giving, are you speaking of giving things or spiritual understanding?
问：你所说的给予，是给予物质呢还是给予灵性智慧？

Lester: Love is an attitude of givingness. When things are given with this attitude, it is love. If I give you something because I want you to like me, that is not love; that is trying to bolster my ego.
答：爱是一种给予的态度。当物质是以这种态度被给予时，那是爱。如果我给你一个东西是因为我想要你喜欢我，那不是爱，那是在支持我的小我。

The greatest givingness is giving understanding, giving wisdom. If I give a meal to a man in poverty, four hours later he needs another meal again. However, if I give him the principle of how to produce a meal, he will never go hungry again.
最好的给予是给予智慧。如果我给一个穷人一块肉，四个小时后他会需要另一块肉。但是，如果我给他如何得到肉的方法，那么他就永远不会再挨饿。

Let me end with a quote: "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful. It is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
最后，我引用一段话，作为今天的结语：“爱是耐心的，是仁慈的。爱不会忌妒，不会自吹自擂。爱不会傲慢无礼，不会坚持己见，不会心怀恨意。爱不会因错误而欢喜，只会以正确而快乐。爱承载一切，信任一切，祝福一切，包容一切。”